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Exclusive Interview with SL: unicorns, unicorns, unicorns

WittyLeaks By WittyLeaks Published on August 16, 2017

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WL: What is the Champagne of Beers?

SL: As far as I know, it's Miller High Life. 


WL: What are we having for dinner tonight? 

SL: I'm having dinner with my in-laws. My mother-in-law doesn't eat anything spicy and she considers salt and pepper to be spicy. It has to be a boiled potato with a boiled potato. 


WL: Do you prefer Bud or Bud Light? 

SL: I can't remember. 


WL: I don't think that's true. How do you feel about Nihilism? 

SL: It's a good river. 


WL: How do you feel about fun? 

SL: I tried it once. It was alright. 


WL: If you could have dinner with one person alive or dead besides AG, who would it be? 

SL: Robin Williams. I think it would be a very fun dinner conversation. Next one would be Keith Richards. After all, if there's only one unicorn in the world, how would you want to eat it?


WL: I'm pretty sure that Keith Richards is mummified undead. Tell me more about unicorns. 

SL: They're like horses but better. Horses don't sparkle and they have that delightful horn, like antlers but not quite. 


WL: If you were a unicorn, what colour would you be? 

SL: I'm not good with colours, so I don't know. I would probably think I was purple, but could be a completely different colour. 


WL: If you had a unicorn, what would you name it? 

SL: "Good question" the unicorn


WL: What kinds of activities would you do with your unicorn? They're not edible.

SL: I would probably train it to kill. 


WL: What kinds of rules would you teach your unicorn about killing? 

SL: None. Free-range killing. 


WL: I feel like you should instil a moral code into your unicorn because how do you know it wouldn't kill you? 

SL: I am more powerful than the unicorn. The unicorn is my apprentice. 


WL: What would you feed your unicorn? 

SL: Alexi. He'll wake up one day dead inside the unicorn. 


WL: I that your last comment brings up some interesting ideas about consciousness and the afterlife. Would you please elaborate? 

SL: Unicorn magic. 


WL: Do you believe in unicorns? 

SL: Only mine. If I stop thinking about it, it will disappear.


WL: Is it like a tulpa? 

SL: No. 


WL: Do you like Lisa Frank? 

SL: I don't know who that is. 


WL: Guest question from AG. Would you rather watch your parents have sex for the rest of your life or join in just once in order to make it stop? 

SL: You're not going to know when, but I'm going to hurt AG. 


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